| (no subject) |
[Dec. 26th, 2009|09:27 pm] |
| [ | By round of applause how do you feel? |
| |  annoyed | ] |
| [ | You can hear 'em singin' |
| | Welcome to Jamrock | ] |
Dear mom,
I love you so much, and you know I respect your religion alot. I always have nice things to say about your church friends, your music, and if ever I do say anything not in line with your views, I do it witout being rude or spiteful. I've even refrained from doing magick in your home, even though I could totally do it without you knowing.
So do you think you could try to be a little bit more respectful of me? I'm pretty sure I've told you I'm a witch at least once, probably more than that, and yet you talk about the "evils" of witchcraft around me like I'm not even there. You talk to me like I'm christian, even though you know I'm not, and I can't have a single conversation with you without you adding some biblical refrence. I know for a fact that if I talked about my religion that much, or anything for that matter, you'd think I was obnoxious or obsessed.
I'm not saying you have to change your views to please me. You don't even have to like that I'm Pagan. I just want you to talk to me, not preach. Treat me like a normal person, not someone who needs to hear gods word, just out of respect for me.
One of these days, I'm gonna let you know that shit bothers me. If you keep doin it, don't be surprised if I do the same to you.
I love you mom,
your daughter |
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| A love letter. |
[Dec. 26th, 2009|12:20 am] |
Dear boy,
You have no idea how hard I've fallen for you. You likely won't know this unless I get incredibly wasted, but the only reason I'm doing an internship in the city is to be close to you, because I want to try.
You said you don't do long-distance relationships well, so we couldn't date. If I cut out the distance... What would happen?
I can't wait until May. You likely have no idea how much I'd do for you. Hopefully, you will.
Yours,
C |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 23rd, 2009|08:56 am] |
| [ | By round of applause how do you feel? |
| | irritated | ] |
Dear Rude Neighbor,
I bought my house with a driveway on my property so I can park MY cars in MY parking spaces without any problems. See, the problems I used to have living in my apartment, I solved them!! You don't seem to understand that. This morning when I got home from work, I had to go find another parking space when all I wanted to do was come home and relax!
This has happened before, and we told you to get your car, or your company's car out of my way! Next time I'm not going to even waste my time, I'm just going to have it towed away! See, I can do that now, because it is my property, and I don't want your vehicle on it! That would suck next time on a holiday when the impound lots are closed all freaking week, now wouldn't it?!?! So don't do it again!!!
And the fucked up part about it is you have three parking spaces on your side,(including the one in your garage) and one of them wasn't even in use?!?!?! But yet, your friend parked there anyways?!?!? We only have two parking spaces!! If you couldn't tell.
We are just easily as inconvienced when we have company as you are. There is a parking lot across the street that all the neighbors use, including our compony, if you haven't noticed, they don't take up your parking spaces!!! There is also the space above my house, which yes, I know it's above my house, but it's not my property!!! That's owned by the family who lives in the house on the other side of me, and his son that lives on the other side of him. Which you should know this because you lived here for how freaking long?!!? And we are only allowed to park there for short periods of time when we absolutly need to, or if we want to risk getting blocked in. So you can risk getting blocked in, or having him show up at your door instead of me telling you to get your vehicle out of here. These areas are only a few more feet away from your house, then they are mine. So if you don't mind, stay off of my drive away, or your, or your company's vehicle will be towed.
If you need more parking space, that is not my problem. I have enough problems of my own to worry about. I fixed my parking problem. Don't inconvience others because you're too lazy to figure out your own problems!!
Oh yeah, and you might want to teach your friend to learn how to peel out of people's driveway the right way, instead of spinning tire, and blowing a dust cloud into your house! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 21st, 2009|09:48 pm] |
Dear Party Guest,
Thank you for coming to my mother's 51st birthday party! I really appreciate you coming! But next time, could you possibly clean up after yourself when you make a mess in our bathroom? I really do not appreciate finding two huge shit smears on the otherwise lovely pearly white toilet. I understand that using a toilet that has buttons instead of a handle can be very jarring, so I even left wipies and a bottle of 409 in plain sight. Just in case accidents like this occurred. But did you use them? Nope, you just washed your hands (hopefully!!!) and continued back to the party.
Goodness only knows how long it had been there before I discovered it. I am not amused. Hopefully my mother's co-workers won't be talking about how 'dirty' her daughter is thanks to you.
Ass!
Love,
Me |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 19th, 2009|02:52 pm] |
| [ | By round of applause how do you feel? |
| | bitchy | ] |
Dear Bitch who stole my alcohol,
The reason I hid the half litre of Captain Morgan's under the pillow in the room was because I brought my own alcohol so I wouldn't have to pay the five dollar drink-all-you-want-bar-cost. I did this because I already had my own alcohol and all the drinks from the bar were all vodka based, and vodka and I are not friends.
I then left the room, thinking it was safe, only to see you wandering through the party ten minutes later swigging from the bottle. I went back to the room, reached under the pillow, realised that you indeed had my bottle, and asked for it back, explaining it was a private stash.
Your response of 'fuck you' was unnecessary. Because I was drunk, I snatched the bottle back and told you to burn in hell. You shoved me. I laughed, and started to walk away. You took a swing at the back of my head, and luckily your fist was caught by a friend of mine, who is a dude, and much bigger than you.
Here's where you really went wrong: I was fine with just leaving the situation alone and locking away my alcohol and continuing my good time. You decided to run to the person throwing the party to complain about 'the ugly cunt who stole my alcohol and tried to fight me.'
Lemme explain something. You got invited to this party by a friend of the host, and everyone there? Knows me. Loves me. They fucking ADORE me. You? You are some stranger.
Best part?
Host of the party?
My boyfriend of four years. Who knew I brought my own alcohol. Who saw our exchange, and saw that I made no attempt to fight you. Who really hates people who attack his girlfriend.
So yeah. THAT'S why you got dragged out of the fucking party and why we threatened to call the cops when you sneaked back in. Fucking moron.
Love,
Awesome, awesome me. |
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| The Retailer's Lament |
[Dec. 15th, 2009|11:35 am] |
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Dear Lady who just came in,
No matter how many times you ask me the price, it will be $23.99. I understand if that's out of your price-range of what you're willing to pay. You don't have to buy it. I also understand that you want to give it as a gift--after all, why would you be buying baby clothing for yourself as you are clearly an adult? However, again, this does not mean I can lower the price. I pointed out that the sign you insist belongs to this item of clothing, is in fact for the clothing NEXT to it, and still you persist. Distastefully looking at me is not going to help your cause either. That's the price, I'm sorry. It's expensive, I realize that. I also realize that it's 20% off and still that price. NO, I cannot lower it any further, that's how I get FIRED. I'd love to help you, I can even give you an extra discount if you sign our mailing list but NO, I cannot give it to you for NINE DOLLARS.
Please stop looking at me like I'm Satan or the Grinch who took your last can of who-hash.
No love,
The vertically challenged brunette behind the counter |
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| Disgruntled Student |
[Dec. 15th, 2009|07:37 am] |
Dear Teacher,
I'm sure you're well aware that business cards cost a hell of a lot of money to make. You're what you call, "a professional in the business". So, of course you would know this.
Now, initially, this whole situation wouldn't piss me off. But, originally you said that you didn't want dummies, and then the next week you said you wanted dummies. And you gave us a week to order them. It takes a little more than a week to get business cards made and sent out.
So, I ordered mine on Friday, knowing that there would be no way that they would get here by Monday's class; why, teacher, would I spend $22 on business cards that I aren't what I wanted in the first place? Doesn't matter, because I did. And that should have been enough. (Because, remember, Teacher, I am described as a college student that's majoring in art. That, by default, should tell you that I don't make much money to begin with.)
But then on MONDAY, you said, "Oh, yeah, as long as you have them by Thursday."
Still not going to happen.
And I swear to God, I'm going to raise hell if my grade is lowered because I don't have a fucking professionally made business card that I didn't even want in the first place, because I'd rather make my own. At home.
Sincerely,
Disgruntled Student |
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